rock bottom
when things hurt so bad. you have no where else to turn. to all you friends you've either said fuck you. or they've said they don't want to fuck with your ass anymore. no friends. no sanity. no where to go. your hopeless. you've even lost yourself as a friend. rock bottom is even more visible to you than anything has ever been. but is it clear to you? is it really where you want to be? it doesn't matter. cause your coming crashing down. and your not bringing anyone with you. your fatal.

alcoholic
back off!! she says. taking one
more drag. breathing in these
feelings that she's never had.
she loves them. they scare her
to death. and they will be the
death of her. her demise. the
worst pain ever. the adventure
of a life time. she's addiceted
to it. she craves it. theres nothing
in the world that has the same
taste. it's the taste that keeps
her coming back. she says.
she describes it as. on the rocks
with a twist, please. it's her favorite drink.

value
is it all worth it in the end? the trials. the comings. the happy times and the sad? the memories. the enemies? the good and the bad? those nights spent crying all alone in my room. the nights spent together staring at the moon. long drives to endless nowheres. big plans on eventually ending up somewhere. making the most out of all you have to give. realizing it's the only way you could live. cold backs on the floor. never wishing for anything more. wouldn't ever trade anything for the fights we had. not once in my life have you ever made me mad. not wishing for anything else other than a life like this. i think it is.

i hate you
go ahead now. sleep with
ease. you've ruined my life.
took the core right out. broke
all the picture frames. broke
all my dreams. i hope your
satisfied. your trying to keep
me here. like some bird in a
cage. im leaving. chasing.
searching. catching. be satisfied
when im gone. it's all you
will ever need. i hate you.

chin up
keep your head up little girl. and keep your heart safe. you know wherre it belongs. so theres no use crying. give this some days to blow over. it always blows over. it will be there when your ready. it's always waiting for you. so keep your heart safe little girl. and keep your head up. it's always waiting for you.

your a bitch
would you be able to wake up to a day without sunshine? or grass thats not green? picture your days cloudy, and dark. do that for just a second. how would it feel to walk without shoes? it's painful right? imagine. walking on broken glass. it cuts so deep. so fucking painful. do you like the rain? cause it's raining all the time. so go ahead and twist this knife into my back some more. this is exactly how my days are. now that you have removed all the worth. i hope your happy.

perfect?
i'll never be up to your standards. that'sok. i'll try. i'll always tru. you want me tall? i'll get taller. you want me blonde? i'll go blonder. give me a chance. to work my way up to these 'standards' of yours. i promise. you wont be wasiting your time. i'll make it worth your while. just give me sometime. i'll be tall, i'll be blonde. i promise.

idle
it's all i've ever wanted. i don't think it's too much to ask. but i'll be patient. i can wait. after all. it's what i'm used to. being idle. it's fairly easy when you feel like i do. so i'll stay steady. patiently waiting. idle. because it's all i'll ever need.

Happy Birthday
sp excited! counting down the days. 5, 4, 3, 2... it's coming so soon. it's the big one. i'll finally be free. i hope i stay this way forever. change is pretty scary. couting down the days. i know i'm gonna stay 18 for ever. so we can be like this forever.

Dear Boy
dear boy,
the days are getting warmer. the flowers there so pretty. but not as pretty as you. summer is right around the corner. oh! please come soon. the sun wont shine right until your back around. and it wouldn't be summer without the sun. and your face. ps. i know you'll bring me my favorite flowers. you always do. and thats when summer will be here. i miss you. with love.